Furious Nightmares!
by Cryztalix
Summary: Sequel to Furious Fanfics, Tigress has a nightmare of those fanfics and decides to go meditate.Sadly, Shifu is there...in a sling shot thong.  LOL Crackfic read n review


Furious Nightmares?

Yo, it's Cryztalix returning with another jacked up, messed up, crack fic parody!

This is basically a sequel to my other story, 'Furious Fanfics?' when the Five and Po discover what fan fics are n' such.

NOW, we continue with the story!

*cough* read and review bishes or I'll stop with the parodies.

*LE GASP!*

Oops! Did I say that outLOUD? Silly me!

TO DA JADE PALACE!

After about five hours of sitting in that tree hiding from Master Tigress' wrath, the rest of the Furious Five (and Po) slowly crawled down the branches hoping to get some rest and…..maybe face the consequences tomorrow….or next week…

….or never…yeah, that would work.

"I can't believe Crane ditched us over four hours ago…" Po said.

"I can't believe we actually sat in a tree for FIVE hours.." Viper added.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GET A WIRELESS COMMUNICATION SIGNAL IN MY ROOM, HOOK UP A COMPUTER THAT I'M NOT REALLY SURE HOW I GOT, TURN IT ON, GET ON SOME SITE THAT CRANE RECOMMENDED, ONLY TO GET IT ALL SMASHED TO BITS AND PIECES BY A CRAZY FELINE HAVING HER 'PMS' MOMENT OVER SOME LITTLE 'PAIRINGS' THAT SHE DIDN'T APPROVE OF!" Mantis yelled, sad and irritated about how his day went.

….Talk about a 'drama queen'…..bug….thing.

"Uh….I can't believe it's not… butter?" Monkey decided to add, feeling a little left out.

The five headed back to the palace and silently crept back to their rooms. Wherever Tigress was, it'll have to wait, cuz they were TIRED….and sleepy…

OH WAIT, that's the same thing.

Near the Sacred Peach Tree

"Master Shifu!" Tigress ran to her vertically challenged master.

"Yes, Tigress?" He said. "What seems to be troubling you?"

"…Po clogged the toilet."

Shifu sweatdropped. "Oh…"

"…..AGAIN.."

"OHHH!"

Tigress looked down at her master with a puzzled expression.

"Master, with all do respect, why are you wearing…..THAT?" She asked, pointing at what Shifu had on..

…which was a lime green sling-shot THONG.

Shifu looked down. "Oh, this little ol' thing?" he asked, acting oblivious, while spreading his legs wider.

Tigress felt the need to puke. 'THAT is CREEPY.' She thought. 'I mean seriously, lime green is NOT master Shifu's color…'

Shifu dangled his legs around her.

"Well Tigress," he said, "I thought I'd look a little…representable for my lover." He stated with that 'dreamy look' on his face.

"Oh okay….wait, YOUR WHAT?" Tigress snapped.

"You know…." Shifu replied slyly, moving over towards Tigress (who was starting to feel kinda awkward by the way) and rubbed her ears.

"…just trying to impress a certain someone…."

'TRYING is an understatement..' Tigress thought, flinching at her ears being touched.

'Whoever that certain someone is….I would suggest that they run….LIKE NOW!'

Tigress was starting to feel VERY uncomfortable at the moment.

Not just because her master was wearing provocative clothing.

OR that he was rubbing her ears.

….but that he was humming

'Hips Don't Lie' by Shakira while doing it all at once.

"I don't even LIKE that artist…" Tigress muttered.

She heard Shifu change the humming tune to 'Clumsy' by Fergie.

All of this was making Tigress feel very weird….very, VERY weird.

….so she decided to do something about it.

…..by turning around and slapping Shifu.

….BISH slapping him, actually.

He landed with a small 'thud' at the edge of the tree.

"Master! I apologize! It's just that you were acting ….'not you'.. and by 'not you', I mean- "

His hand went up, silencing her.

"No need to explain, Tigress." Shifu stood.

"….Are you okay..?"

"I can completely understand why you are like this Tigress."

"…..that…really didn't answer my ques-"

"So tell me Tigress, do you like it….rough?"

"LOOK, I said I was sorry for that slap- WAIT, WHA-"

Shifu tackled Tigress to the ground, attempting to place kisses on her.

Tigress shot up in her bed. Eyes were WIDE in terror. She was in a cold sweat.

It was only a dream.

…OH THANK GOD, BUDDAH, ALLAH…..and all those others….

She put her hand to her head and groaned.

"Stupid fiction site…stupid pairings…"

Tigress opened her eyes, 'THE OTHER FIVE! Where were they? They are SO gonna get it….after I meditate that disturbing scene out of my mind… '

She headed towards the peach tree….finding, you guessed it, Shifu. He too, was meditating…late at night…geez…what a creeper.

Tigress saw his figure, and was starting to feel uneasy.

'It was just a stupid dream! He's your master….who wore a lime green sling-shot thong and was- NO! Stop it!'

Shifu's ear twitched and he turned to the cause of the noise….only to see Tigress there waving her arms in the air and …..shouting mental thoughts, possibly?

'…must be some kind of new dance..' he thought.

'C'mon! Just sit there and meditate! Do it! DO IT!' Tigress was trying her hardest to sit at the tree.

…she wasn't trying hard enough though, sadly.

"Tigress?" Shifu asked, bemused at how silly she looked.

At the sound of her name, she automatically straightened herself out, cleared her throat, and gave a respectful bow stating: "Master Shifu.."

He looked at his student and how…crazy she looked.

Her fur was ruffled, she looked sleep-deprived, and her tail was twitching as though it was on sugar high.

"….I see you came here seeking comfort, am I correct?"

Tigress froze, "Uh…..why yes…yes I did. I, Master Tigress, was seeking comfort…through MEDITATION, and not, uh, not…with ear rubbing and song tunes….YEAH!"

Shifu raised an eyebrow. "….song tunes?"

Tigress grew nervous, she did NOT want to reenact her dream.

"Tigress…you are troubled….please..tell me what ails you."

"YOUR SLING-SHOT THONG! THAT'S WHAT!" She roared.

Shifu was taken aback by her statement.

"Ah, Master! I-I'm so sorry!" Tigress quickly apologized.

"Just take a deep breath…and tell me what the problem is." He beckoned calmly.

Tigress sighed and began to tell her Master about her day.

"It all started when I used the messenger bird for a target…."

20 minutes later

Shifu sat there, wide eyed at everything Tigress had said, from the website all the way to the horrific dream she had.

Tigress let out a breath of relief, glad that she had gotten all of that off her chest.

"Well Master, what do you think?"

Shifu stared at her and chuckled.

"Well Tigress, it seems that you were right."

Tigress smirked," Of COURSE I was right…." Then she thought for a second. "…right about what?" she questioned, dumbfounded.

Shifu laughed and simply said, "Green really isn't my color." He continued his laughter.

Tigress joined him in on the 'happy moment'.

As the laughter died down, he added,

"..Yeah…it's actually red if I do say so myself."

Tigress choked on said, 'happy moment'.

"…What?"

"Red…you know, I like it. It brings out the color of my fur, and not to mention…´-he added grinning, "I was planning on looking for some new clothing material…..and that sling-shot idea doesn't sound half bad." He chuckled and looked over to Tigress…

…..who happened to be running back to the Jade Palace screaming in vain.

"….was it something I said?" Shifu asked.

The End

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